To be born in the year "2000" is a great convenience. It is easier to calculate your age — you don't have to add or subtract anything from the current year and the year just equals your age.
I thought that starting this year, and every four years from now, I’d honestly answer one of the most platitudinous questions ever asked in a job interview. I will try to break down this question further and cover the entire context. This is almost like a letter to my future self.
The main reasons to do this are,
- One... I feel this will point me in a direction in life with better precision.
- Two... It will be cool to see how my goals and values change over time.
If I live till 2100, I'll have to do this exercise around 20 times. I think that is a fair amount of commitment. This is a time better spent than scrolling through social media at least!
What am I up to right now?
I am in a transitional phase. Things are uncertain, and I can't even say what I'll be doing after the next six months. But I do have a direction. Two directions, actually — one is music and the other is computer science. I'm gonna keep grinding for the next five to six months. My whole existence right now revolves around practicing the piano, attending audio engineering lectures, and honing my problem-solving skills. I do get off the rails sometimes. I get burnt out and don't feel like doing anything for a while. But somehow, by doing this and that and keeping track in spreadsheets, I throw myself onto the track.
One thing I’ve realized is that it’s better to outsource your accountability. The mechanism and structure that we get in an academic setting can't be created by ourselves unless the motivation is really up there.
I take my health into consideration these days. I try to eat good food. I'm eating out most of the time, and it gets really expensive. That's something that bugs me, but I don't think I have a choice right now. Overall, I feel good that I can do what I want to do. Occasionally, I miss my family. Periodically, I overthink. But mostly, I am doing well!
What would/should change in the next 4 years?
Livelihood
I should be in a very stable position. I don't think I can make any dicey decisions when I'm 28. I should have a stronghold in at least one of the two things I'm up to. This would probably be in computer science because that's where the most opportunities are. And that won't happen magically when I turn 28. I'll have to work for it right from now (and I'm doing it). This was one of the major reasons for me to quit my full-time job post-haste. If I hadn't done it, I don't think I could've done it in 2028. I put a lot of thought and time into filtering down my life into two things, and they still feel overwhelming. We can go as deep as we want into either of these fields. I feel like each of these demand its own lifetime, and here I am trying to do both with just one.
Marriage
I think I’ll be married by then. I understand that my parents are very eager. I wouldn't say I'm not eager, but I have a lot of other things to be enthusiastic about. What else do you expect from an ambitious workaholic? But I really do think it is better to get married early on if you're in India. As you age, the pool of prospective partners diminishes exponentially. This is obviously a societal thing but sorry to spoil it for you — we are a part of that society! It really doesn't help being frustrated over things that aren't in our control. I did all that when I was in my teens — believe me, it doesn't help at all. I'm not saying that we can't change bigger things — of course we can. All I'm saying is we can't fight everyone at the same time. We gotta choose our fights!
Music
It might be very premature to comment on music and think of what I'll be doing with it in 4 years. But I'll try to condense some of my thoughts into words here. Before I came here to the conservatory, I kinda knew that the job market in this industry was bleak. I still came here because, one: I should not make assumptions and regret not doing it later, two: I had a little hope that I would be able to thrive here and even find a job that would take me up the ladder, and three: I knew I can always go back to being a software engineer. I was utterly confused about what to do because it wasn't a simple choice. I really feel I can do well in music, but we won't see the results until later. It will be too late and it will affect all other aspects and people around me. I can't be that selfish. The puddle of doubts cleared a bit when I spoke to my professor about it. I'm glad I did that. It gave me a better perspective. It all boiled down to a simple question — What do I want out of music? I can be an Audio Engineer and work for other people, but I already have a better-paying alternative for that. If I'm really honest, all I want from music is money and fame! And to achieve that, just being skilled is not enough. There is something more that is required. My professor calls it talent. Inside me, I really feel that I have got what it takes to become what I want. I wouldn't call it over-confidence. I am someone who tries to avoid negative evaluations at any cost. I am almost docile in that sense and would've easily done everything that everyone wants from me. I totally despise being frowned upon. And, for me to do all the things that I've done and to make all the choices that I've made — this can't just be over-confidence is what I feel. Nobody would've stopped me from making music if it was just a hobby but I don't want it to be "just a hobby". I want to create music that people truly like and can connect with.
Family
I always feel as though I’m the chosen one. That could partly be attributed to some personality disorder, but it's mostly because I'm really lucky! It all starts right from when you're born and who you're born to. I got a good education only because my parents were able to afford it. I stumbled upon music only because we had a computer at home. We had computers at home only because my dad was a software consultant. And the list goes on. Although my parents are self-sufficient, I feel like I should give them a proper retirement before 2028. I think their only concern right now is whether I’m self-sufficient. I would like to be around them if situations permit it when I'm 28, but it's highly unlikely. Times have changed and this isn't the '80s anymore. I'll have to be at a place where things happen, and Coimbatore hasn't become that place yet.
How do I look at the larger picture?
The bigger goal is actually simple. After removing all the complexities associated with the smaller plans, the main goal is to earn a significant amount of money. The wealth I’m after will elevate those around me, both this generation and the next. I think money was one of the biggest factors that demanded me to take the longer route to do what I wanted to do. I genuinely don't want that to happen to the younger generation — my cousins, nephews and nieces.
The way I see my life panning out is quite simple too. I've split it into three phases. The first phase is to explore different things and figure out what I want to do in life. The second phase is to do that thing for decades. The third phase is when, after attaining a certain level of proficiency at what I do, I should give it back by being a mentor or a teacher.
The first phase is almost over. I've never felt this confident about what I want to do. The next step is to do them consistently and create some value out of them.
Finally, I just have to keep myself healthy throughout so that I don't die prematurely!
See y'all in 2028...