During the pandemic, at a time when I had high fever, a movie that I had been expecting for quite some time got released on an OTT platform. I watched it with all the discomfort of the fever (possibly caused by the COVID-19 virus).
I loved the film! The film revolves around a bunch of school kids studying in a catholic school (just like I did), and the main character is interested in music (just like me). The connection I felt with the movie was so strong that I had to find the director's (and the music composer's - for this film, Darbuka Siva was both) email ID from the internet and write him an email telling him how much I liked the film.
This is how happiness works. He made me happy and I in turn wanted to make him happy. After I wrote that email, it was in my drafts for 7 to 8 months. I had a "no reply anxiety". It is absurd to think that I was afraid to send an email to someone who doesn't know who I am and what I do and has no direct impact on my life whatsoever. Also, this was the time I was finally transitioning between college and work. I had my internship work on one hand and I had the project work on the other. It was too hectic and there was no time to think about anything else. After college was over, I didn't want to delay it anymore. I just felt like sending it. I added a note at the top with reasons for my delay and sent it without thinking too much.
(The above text was written wayy later to provide context.)
Here's the email...
On Tue, Aug 9, 2022 at 1:12 PM Sharavanan Balasundaravel <
redacted@gmail.com> wrote:Note: This mail was in my drafts folder for so long. I kinda wrote this after a week or so after the film's release. Now the effects of this film have definitely faded (I wish I had sent this earlier while it was hot). I was a little hesitant and didn't know if you'll read this or not. But now I've changed my mind. There's no point in keeping this any longer. I'm sending this right away!
Hi Siva na,
This is Sharavanan from Coimbatore. I'm a final year undergraduate student. I really hope you read this. I watched Mudhal Nee Mudivum Nee a while back and I couldn't stop thinking about it even after so many days (I watch a lot of films and rarely do they stay this long).
Just 10 minutes into the film, I knew this film was gonna be at the top of my list. The relatability is so strong. I felt like watching myself when I saw Vinod (except for Rekha's part - I studied in a boys' school :')). I remember downloading pirated softwares and making mediocre beats and sounds when I was in my 10th standard. This was the time when these new wave of music directors like Anirudh, Santhosh Narayanan and Hip-hop Tamizha were starting out. It was a light bulb moment for me when I came to know that I can make music using computers.
I cannot remember a time when we didn't have a computer at home (my dad's a software developer btw). I've had computers my whole life and didn't know that I could make music using it. Then I watched tutorials and courses on YouTube and made even more (okayish) music. My friends were kinda supportive (they were the only people who listen to my music so...) and this went on for 1 or 2 years after I was into college. I feel like I've lost the spark in the process of getting my Engineering degree (but I've not quit yet). I kinda started thinking like my peers (you know coding, placements and stuff) and sidelined music. I even thought of quitting (when I didn't even start - smh) music and start focusing on my software career until I saw MNMN. I generally do not ponder over my past but after watching your film I couldn't help it.
I'd say I'm an above average software engineer. I can even do better than that but I highly doubt if I can be the best (especially with a regret that I didn't even try to get into music). I also feel like this is a good time to step back and think about what I'd want to do in life (now that college is soon to be over).
I really don't know if I'm right for music. I'm definitely not very good at music right now (this I know). But I won't know for sure until I've tried it.
I'll have to start again.
I don't know if you'll read this but some acknowledgement would be nice.
Again, thank you for making this film!
Sharavanan
I did get a reply after three days...
On Fri, 12 Aug, 2022, 12:20 pm Darbuka Siva, <
redacted@gmail.com> wrote:Hi Sharavanan,
Thanks for the mail. I'm really happy to hear about how much of a connection you have with MNMN.
Hope you get to do all the things you love doing. All the best for that.
Darbuka Siva
FIN