It's been exactly five months since we first started speaking, and we're getting married in another two. It's an arranged marriage - the best kind of marriage (/s). And she's the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life!
State of the Art
We’ve gotten pretty comfortable with each other. There hasn’t been a single day without us talking. It did take a bit of time to arrive here - multiple dates, hours and hours of talking, gift exchanges, and so on.
You see, she is not just this cute, elegant and beautiful blob that you always crave to take a bite of; she’s also this smart, hardworking and intelligent girl. Of course, she gets cranky from time to time, but is generally patient and practical.
Our upbringings are very different. I’m this city guy who wants everything the world has to offer - selfish, with very few interactions with people. I’m a bit of a dreamer. Quite impractical. She, on the other hand, is a village girl (the modern type) who grew up with a tight-knit clan of relatives. I can’t even count how many cousins she has - there are so many of them. She generally values people around her more. She’s soft-spoken (like me) but doesn't have any inhibitions when it comes to speaking with people (very unlike me). I feel we complement each other in a nice way!
The Genesis
This was a time when I was just starting to get back to work after my music education fiasco. I felt ready for marriage, but I assumed it would take at least a couple of years to find someone in the arranged marriage market, given my reservations about matrimony sites (I hate 'em), etc.
It took hardly two months!!
My parents got her details through a common relative. Also, I'm a little suspicious that my grandma had a role to play in this! My maternal grandmother and her paternal grandmother are cousins (my fiancée and I are effectively third-generation cousins). I smell serious foul play here!
She was the one who made the move to speak first. I was intrigued. We spoke for half an hour. Parts of it were funny when I think about it now. But at that time, I was indifferent. I wished I had an algorithm that just outputs "yes" or "no" based on our interactions. I just couldn't decide!
We did speak regularly for the next two weeks prior to meeting in person. The conversations would be pleasant, but I still couldn't decide. My brain works like a calculator; I need some inputs and logic to arrive at a decision. I just couldn't figure out that logic. Why would I say "yes"? Or why would I say "no"?
She said she couldn't decide either. I still don't know if she said that only because I said so. But we eventually decided to meet and give it a chance. The thing is, I'm more of a "this could've been an email" guy, and she's this "let's just hop on a quick call" kinda gal. Our communication modes were so different.
To my surprise, our families let us meet alone without them being there. Now, don't mistake them for being progressive; it happened only because our families knew each other. I was so excited to meet her the previous day. With all the ruckus I created, my cousins thought that I'd fallen for her - but not yet!
The Singularity
I went into the café a bit early. Her parents (my mama and athai) were supposed to drop her off. I was mentally prepared to meet them. I was nervous. My posture was bad. I was telling myself not to overdo anything and embarrass myself... BOOM!!! And there she was...
She came in from behind, like an angel, wearing a pink salwar kameez. I think this is when I actually fell for her! In that moment, all my logic was murdered mercilessly. The wiring of my calculator-brain was short-circuited. That was the point of no return!!
We then went up to the rooftop, ordered food and spoke for two hours. I don't remember most of the stuff we spoke about, but I do remember telling her everything "negative" about myself that she’d need to consider for her future. I said "yes" then and there (like an idiot). I totally wouldn't recommend doing this and risking embarrassing yourself; I did it only because I felt she'd reciprocate. She took her sweet time. I totally get why and respect that. And things just took off from there. It still feels like a dream. Ultimately, I think I've just lucked out!
At this point, I feel complete and content with life. My baseline happiness has definitely improved. I can't imagine leading a life with anyone else other than her. And there is a strong and sincere urge to make her feel that way as well. I really hope that I can pull this off!
My Kanmani, if you're reading this - happy birthday!!!
And, I'm sorry I couldn't be there with you. I really mean it.
FIN